Faces Writing Challenge

At the time that Michael died, I was in a daze. A serine yet psychotic state of mind. My brain really shut down and I was emotionally absent from this Earth. It was hard to really tell who was being a good friend or who was just absent. I do remember the kind faces of my loving mother, step-dad, and supportive aunts!

They gathered around M and I with such heartfelt love and tender whispers of comfort. I was pretty much bed ridden for the first couple of days as I recovered from the surgery so cooking and cleaning was out of the question. My mom and her sister, my Aunt Shell, as I call her, had been at our home cleaning and cooking the day that I was discharged from the hospital. It was so nice to come home to a spotless home that smelled like lavender and the family lasagna.

I know that it may sound weird or gross to some people but it was the most comforting and nostalgic smell I could have had surrounding me. My mom had also asked me before I got home if she could spend some time in the nursery. I was nervous about letting her pack up the things that we would no longer need, but I was so distraught that M and I both thought it would be best if she did it because if we had to do it we both may have just gone off the deep end. I didn't think I was strong enough to have to do all of that packing so I didn't. However we did not want the crib, changing table or rocker taken down and to this day it is still where we left it.

My mother, step-dad and my aunt bought some large Tupperware containers and thoughtfully packed all of the diapers, blankets, onesies, booties, and jumpers up. I haven't thought of what they must have talked about or how many millions of tears that fell that day while they took on that torturous task. The tears are falling like crazy and my heart is being ripped apart all over again just thinking about it. I sometimes wonder if I should have let them leave that task up to me, but I don't know if I would still be here if I would have. I don't know if I ever truly thanked them for doing that.

That night Aunt Shell and my mom shaved my legs for me while I was in bed since I couldn't get into the bathtub or bend down much in the shower. My mom did one leg and my aunt did the other. It was a simple task but it was very appreciated! They rubbed lotion on my legs after they were done. The entire time they took care of me they were so sweet and kind. I could have never imagined that the visit they made was to help me plan my sons funeral in sorrow, and not to help us welcome him home with joy. I remember feeling guilty a few weeks later that their trip was for such a sad reason, but while they were here I felt their pure love.